How to Avoid Money Arguments With Your Spouse

Of all the things married couples fight about, money is probably the most stressful – and one of the most common. A new job, an overspending spouse, or an unexpected medical bill can a launch typically unified husband / wife team into enemy territory. A hefty electric bill is nobody’s fault, but you can’t explain that to a stressed-out couple.

So how do you avoid turning conversations about money into fights about money? As with everything else in a marriage, communication and cooperation are key!

Stick to a Budget

First and foremost, make sure that you as a couple create a family budget – and do your best to stick to it. Perhaps in the past one of you has been the “official” budgeter. Well, forget your former role as amateur accountant; this is a job you have to do together if you want to avoid conflict and confusion. Decide how much you can spend per month – together. Evaluate your utility bills – together. Make a payment plan for those leftover medical bills – together. This may initially cause more fights than it solves, but in the end your marriage will be stronger, your communication clearer, and your bank account fatter.

If you are an older couple preparing for retirement, make sure you actually budget for your spending in retirement! You haven’t been taxed all these years just to count pennies after you’re finished working. Set aside some funds for enjoyable things, too! Vacation in Greece. Buy that boat you’ve wanted for years. Donate to your grandchildren’s college fund. Just make sure that you have a little bit of fun with this well-earned rest.

Be Flexible

Secondly, understand that there are some things that are just not worth fighting about. Unless you are both living on a dollar a day, your wife’s once-a-week Starbucks coffee is not a huge deal. Leave enough space in your budget for both of you to be able to spend here and there without the other spouse panicking. A strict budget is a good thing – until it’s not. If you are fearful about something as small as a cafe latte, there may be other issues lurking beneath the surface. Perhaps it’s time to evaluate why you are so worried about money. Is this anxiety creeping into other areas of your life? Do you need more than just a strict budget to calm you – do you actually need some therapy?

Get Help

As previously stated, money is a huge factor in a marriage. There is no shame in seeking help if your financial situation has taken over your mind and heart. Maybe you just need a good financial advisor; but if you need a counselor to actually help you sort through unfounded fears, don’t hesitate to seek out a reputable therapist.

At the end of the day, remember that you married your spouse for a reason. Finances are stressful – but that’s why you committed to a partner who promised to stick it out, even through the stressed-out moments.