Love and Money: How Much Should You Share with Your Spouse?

Getting married can be a lot of work – on top of the wedding, there are many less festive tasks, such as moving in together and combining belongings, that often represent a lot of time and effort. Chief among these related tasks is discussing finances. Money issues can add stress to a marriage at any point – it is famously the most popular cause cited for divorce – but combining finances at the same time you’re merging the rest of your lives can be especially taxing. Determining how much couples should combine finances is tricky, and the correct answer can vary on a case-by-case basis. Here are a few tips for figuring the financial arrangement that best suits your relationship.

Talk About Your Past

As with many aspects of marriage, communication remains one of the most important keys to dealing with any hot-button issue. Heading into the union, both parties should fully reveal where they stand in terms of assets, debt and long-term financial goals. These disclosure are important, as this information will become relevant if you ever decide to buy a house or other make some other big purchase together. It will also help set the table for discussing expectations for how you will handle your newly shared financial burden.

Discuss Joining Finances

It’s not uncommon for one spouse to make more money than the other, and that can determine how any joint bank accounts are managed. However you decide to share your income, make sure it is a fair arrangement you are both comfortable with. Issues with the basic structure of your finances tend to linger and grow over time. Once you know how you will combine your finances you should be able to determine how to handle joint long-term items such as paying down debt, saving for retirement and setting up an emergency fund.

Decide Who’s Paying

How you’ve decided to join your incomes should guide how you divvy up monthly costs. If most of your money goes to a shared account, then it’s easy to figure out how to pay joint expenses like rent and utilities. However, if most of the income rests in your individual accounts then it makes sense to consider paying joint expenses based on how much each of you earns in relation to the total household income. That way each person’s contributions are fair and proportional.

Agree on a Budget

Your union makes you and your spouse a family now, which means you now need to create a family budget. List out your individual expenses and share them with each other to establish your joint fixed expenses for each month. Then decide what discretionary funds you want to set aside for activities you want to do together – like going out to dinner or taking a vacation. Finally, write out what you each want to spend money on for yourselves – such as new clothes or accessories. Compiling these lists helps you piece together a budget you both agree on and document where your money will go each month.

Talking about personal finances is not always an easy task, and it can make many people of all ages uncomfortable from time to time. Newlyweds are no exception, having just agreed to share assets – financial and otherwise – with each other for the rest of their lives, for better or worse. But with the right outlook and some discipline, newlyweds can successfully merge money after marriage without spoiling the romance.