How to Talk with Your Partner About Money

Relationships are hard, and one of the major points of contention among couples is money. Financial issues can add stress to any relationship, so much so that it is the most popular reason people cite for getting divorced.

This is why it’s important to talk openly about money. Much like a conversation to define a relationship, there are a lot of ways to do this; some approaches work well, some not so well and some start fights. So it’s important to approach the topic in a way that is effective and positive for both parties involved. To do that, here are a few things to keep in mind for discussing finances in your relationship.

Do Your Homework

Preparing for this meeting will take some time, as you both need to be able to present a comprehensive picture of your entire financial portfolio – warts and all. This includes total income, all accounts along with their balances, debt totals along with corresponding interest rates and how much each costs on a monthly basis, as well as details on money owed to you. You also need to write down what your financial goals are in the short and long term so that you have a definitive list to compare with your partner.  This information will allow you to begin the process of turning two sets of individual goals into a shared set of goals for both of you as a couple.

Establish Financial Viewpoints

Devote part of the conversation to laying out both of your philosophies towards money. Knowing how you each manage your own money and why will help shape how you decide to manage your finances together. This conversation creates the basis for how you will build and handle your entire portfolio, from weekly budgets, to credit cards and bank accounts, to investments and saving for retirement. Ensuring you’re both on the same page is a vital first step in coordinating finances.

Discuss Lifestyle Expectations

Do you both enjoy traveling? Are you happy with where you live? When do you want to retire? Knowing what each of you wants in the future as well as how happy you both are with things as they are now will help establish a baseline for the goals you want to achieve. Once you’ve identified what you’re aiming for, then you need to agree on prioritizing that list. Knowing what you’re working towards and in what order will help keep you both happier and help you plan for the future more effectively.

Be Ready to Compromise

In the process of trying to combine and prioritize your goals for saving and retirement and agree on the lifestyle you want to lead, you will often run into some conflicting interests. This is why it’s important to prepare a complete financial picture for this meeting, because knowing everything that you have will provide a solid foundation that you can use to tell you what’s possible before you have to start negotiating. Also keep in mind that you need to be ready to compromise with yourself as well and be willing to adjust your habits to avoid impulse buying and extravagant purchases to make this plan work.

Remember that it’s important to settle on a financial plan you can both live, with no matter if you’re trying to merge money after marriage or just planning for a big trip at the end of the year. So be reasonable and remain open to bargaining in order to find a solution that meets both of your needs.